Life

I don't know if it's a good thing that I haven't felt the need to write on here lately or not... LOL It's not that things have been perfect or anything... obviously that's not possible (although at times it feels like things are pretty close to it).

Part of it, I know, is that most of what's going on is family blog appropriate... for example I was shocked to see a sec ago that I never wrote about the truck on here... On top of that, looking back the past few posts... I was focusing on the TTC subject pretty strongly.

Which leads to one reason I probably haven't gotten on... I was pretty upset (although I tried not to be) about not being pg. Logically I know its gonna take awhile... and its early yet. And (big one here) our insurance should be kicking in this month... It looks like it will (and while we can afford a baby without it.. it is a HUGE help). So even if it happens this month or next (which I know may not be the case) that little difference could mean a lot in the end... But knowing something and feeling it are two different things.

Plus so much is going on here...

My mom came down yesterday... which was great. We don't get to see her often enough, but thankfully we're working to fix that. I won't lie and say that things are perfect between us (lol) but our relationship improved a lot when I moved away and even more after getting married. I want my daughter to get to know her (albeit from a distance... I'm not sure I'd want her around every day). I want them to have time together, etc.

We have friends getting married next week. 2 sets actually, but one of the weddings we're in, or the baby and my husband are rather... So that made the decision of which to go to for us... I'm looking forward to it, but its out of town and thanks to the trip (and another for the family reunion next month) our budget is shrinking for the summer. We discussed it earlier and decided that we're down to beef once a week, more chicken, beans, lentils, and veggie meals. Part of me is excited about that because those are the type foods that I'd like to throw in from time to time but the carnivore that is my husband protests. Plus a few of them (like lentils lol... he hates them but I worked them in because of this) happen to be on the fertility diet list! Every little bit there helps right? Not to mention I need to be as healthy as possible when it does happen...

Thankfully he is able to get a lot of overtime and that definately helps things... but the down side is we see him less. I use present tense because he had a ton of it last week... The poor baby went around asking for him over and over... but.. .when she did see him the look on her face was just precious.

We've been sick too... First the baby had an ear infection that we didn't know about. Then when we got her on meds it moved down and she had this awful cough and runny nose. Then I got both too. My ears didn't hurt, but when I cleaned them that first day of symptoms (or second I don't remember which it happened) there was a little blood... and then my husband noticed the same w/ his. Thankfully he didn't progress any further and has been fine. The second day I took benadril before bed, knocked myself out and have been doing better ever since... The baby is on the mend too... but the past day or two its made for some interesting tempers. I feel horrible afterwards but we're both (me and her) doing it.

In the midst of all this I'm so behind on housework its not even funny. As I'm looking at the pack n play full of clean clothes that need to be hung up. Seriously... full... almost over-flowing. Every time I think about doing it I get overwhelmed and do something else, anything else, to avoid it. Thankfully its' better than being behind on dishes or dirty clothes lol (I say that only because it has happened)... but still. I feel bad about it...

I've got so much I want to do... need to do... And have no desire to do half of it... I hate that feeling.

We haven't been to Church in weeks. Which helps nothing. Multiple reasons... With the baby (and me) sick, there's no way we could go this week... Last week... I don't remember, or the week before honestly... But it comes down to me letting any excuse keep us from it because I get so stressed out in the cry room and he's getting burnt out w/ everything he has to do. Is aggrivating because I remember looking forward to Sundays. I love going to Mass... and I miss it. If I'm thinking right, we have to go this weekend (I think he directs). So hoping things are better. I don't know what I can do to fix this rut we're in though. He was talking about going alone to the 8 AM last weekend (but overslept lol) to talk to the priest... maybe it'll happen this weekend.

Anyways.. this is pretty long and I've got stuff to do of course... So I'll end this here.