Saturday, August 29, 2009

Back to the Good News

On an entirely diff note... mostly because I want to get my mind of shit...

I know I posted about it (shortly) yesterday... but my husband got the conversion thing at work. So insurance, raise, paid vacation & money back on our internet here we come lol.

Is extremely good news... We were extremely happy about it... are extremely happy about it.

Now if only other stuff would go away... Like morning sickness, bad memories, MIL's, etc... LOL

That's What I Get For Trying...

Warning - you know who you are... You prob don't want to read this. Feel free to skip it. Please. I honestly will feel bad if you don't lol.

Not going into detail because I dont really think it needs to be said/gone over again... but I feel like crap right now because I tried to help out a friend. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut... But no I couldn't do that and now other people who want to think about stuff less than I do are being pulled back into that whole mess and I feel horrible about that. I feel like its my fault this time even though I didn't want to bring it up... and on top of it all I know we're gonna be made out as liars if we haven't been already.

So yeah... That's what I get for caring about what happens to my friends...

Friday, August 28, 2009

THANKYOU

He got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

And its Started

Ok, so hubby went to visit his dad yesterday... Things have calmed down on that end. He's disappointed that we didn't wait, but knows he'll love the baby and hopes its a boy. All things we knew lol.

On top of that, we had a really good talk about finances and hubby's not as freaked out as he was acting for a bit. We are still planning to cut cable, but just to make things a little easier and I'm ok with that.

Now on to the frusterating part of this post....

Remember how I said the birthing center was going to be a fight? Its already started.... and my FIL is fighting dirty. He's not going off on the no dr part of it (which I know is a big sticking point with him) or anything like that... He's going off on the financial part of it.

One of the big reasons I got my husband to go along with the idea is because it costs so much less.... Like w/out insurance we'd be paying less than we paid the hospital (not counting prenatal visits) after insurance picked up the bulk of it. So what does my FIL say? That its a luxury to give birth there and that we won't be able to miss payments like we could w/ a dr and hospital. And of course... Since it came from his dad... My husband agrees!

Thankfully he's not trying to change my mind, at least not yet... Apparently he was just as bothered by what happened in the hospital as I was and has started to understand why I didn't want to go that route the first time, let alone this one... So he's sticking w/ the plan despite agreeing w/ his dad....

So that is good news... but I'm starting to realize just what a fight this is going to be. I'm so glad my family is on board.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

More Stress

I'm horrible. I know I should be cleaning up and instead I'm sitting here doing this.

Anyways...

We still have not told her. Its driving me nuts. As much as I don't want to hear whatever she has to say, I want it over with. I actually dreamed I told her last night... In the dream she asked about when I was gonna start my period (???) and how it should be soon... and I told her that I was pg. She just looked at me smugly not saying anything and then I passed out in the dream. Not the weirdest dream that night by far, but still... this one I at least know where it came from. One of my mom's being pregnant, storing baby stuff in a shed where it got bird poop on it, and going out on a trip w/ my dead best friend who was begging me to call her more... not so much.

Beyond that...

My husband has gone nuts. I'm blaming my FIL... Well, him plus crazy pg hormones, that you know fathers get too lol.

But seriously, before we started trying we sat down and talked about it. Worked everything out in our heads & figured it would be a good time. No we're not rich, but we knew it'd work out.... Then things got crazy tight & I second guessed our decision. He said no, that we'd still be ok. Since then I've gone over it all in my head a million times.. and yes it's tight but I know he was right, we will manage.

So my FIL reacts by saying "Damn it! You can't afford another kid." and all the sudden my hubby has taken it to heart. Now he's driving me crazy worrying about everything and trying to readjust our budget. In and of itself that's not a bad thing... We don't need cable. It makes sense to get rid of it... will loosen things up a bit. That's great. But he's making it sound life and death and its really stressing me out. And I don't need that right now.

Now I'm here second guessing ourselves yet again... I want to be happy about this baby (and I am) but this is putting a serious damper on it. I know part of it is just me being over emotional, but good grief...

Anyways, I need to clean if little miss will let me.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Stress

Trying not to stress out...

We told my FIL yesterday... who apparently already had an idea because my MIL guessed and made a phone call to him. We didn't expect him to be jumping over the moon about it, but wasn't expecting the "damn it" either.

On top of that he made this point of asking about when our "dr's appointment" is despite knowing that we're using a midwife and made it sound like we don't/won't know the due date until we see a dr???? (shaking head)

Anyways... most of the stress comes from us still not having officially told my MIL. We know we're gonna get reamed and as much as I know it means nothing... I'm still not looking forward to it.

On a good note though, it looks like my husband will be getting the raise and stuff (including benefits) that we've been waiting on... Seriously need prayers over it though because its' not 100% yet. Will be a huge relief when it is.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Deep Breath

Did I mention we're telling everyone this weekend? Did I mention I'm stinking nervous?

Seriously... My MIL will not take this well... Last night my hubby, BIL & I were talking about it and hearing them voice their thoughts on what she's gonna say, which happen to mirror what I think she'll say.... Did not help things any.

So far the consensus is that she's going to tell us that we're selfish and irresponsible... and that we should have an abortion and go on birth control.

Now have I mentioned what a short temper I've had lately? LOL I already told my husband that if she gets too ugly about it, I'm walking out of there... but I'm still worried. Of course we knew this was gonna be an issue, so its not like its coming out of the blue either.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Well Then

Before I get to what I was really gonna post... About the last one, I'm not really worried about it. As several people have said - I did show early last time & it is typical to show earlier in second pg's. Hubby is slightly worried because all my symptoms are happening sooner, but I just figure each pg being diff accounts for that. The twins comments get me a little bit because they run on both sides of both sides of my family lol... and at least on one side of his. I really doubt it though... Beyond that is just frusterating because I feel like I shouldn't be showing yet lol... and of course its moving up our telling people date.

Which is actually what I got on here for. Yeah, my mom has been told and the rest of the grandparents are soon to follow. There's no way we can wait... A little nervous about it, but... yeah.

Oh cute story I have to share. Last night jokingly asked the baby what to have for dinner. A second later I asked my daughter "what does your brother want for dinner?" (remember we're hoping for a boy) and she said "No!" Jokingly I asked next "Is it a sister?" and she did this big head nod & emphatically said "Yes!" - As hubby groans and said "Oh noooooooooo" LOL I loved it.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Shouldn't Have Done It...

Ok on the due in April group online several mama's are posting weekly or monthly belly pics. I didn't do them last time & had wanted to this one anyway... Now remember that I haven't lost my belly from last time and that last time I started showing way too early too... I about cried when I took this!

And we're supposed to hide it for how long?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Excersize

Pulled out my prenatal bellydancing video today... Only got about halfway through it lol. I really like it, but arms.... pain... lol. I have almost no muscles in them and can feel it more there than anything.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Support of Sorts

I'll go ahead & apologize ahead of time. I just realized that as much as ttc took over this blog, the pg will prob do twice that... But in my defense we aren't telling anyone, so other than yall and like 2 other people - noone knows & I can't mention anything on my other blog.

On top of that (and this gets to today's post too lol) I'm not sure how much support we're going to get on our decisions this time around. I know my family isn't going to say much... Thankfully. His... is another story. I already know my FIL isn't too thrilled with us wanting to have a midwife or use the birthing center. He won't stop us, or try to but still... So I can see a bit of what we're going to be up against...

Thankfully I have a cousin, who already knows, and has always been a huge source of support. She's had two homebirths, doesn't try to push her prefferences or beliefs (at least usually lol) and all that good stuff. So of course I told her right away...

Well, today she asked if we were still planning to go this route and when I said yes I hear "You do realize this means no drugs?" I answer yes and get another comment about how much it hurts. Sigh...

So not the kind of support I'm looking for lol.

(FYI if you're pregnant and you may want to skip this part)

Now, I know that she's been there. I know she did it w/ no drugs and no classes of any sort and that (in her words) it hurt like hell. She also knows that I remember the pain from Kalila... and the pain that my giving into it and getting the epidural cost (much worse). She also knows that we're leaning towards Hypnobirthing this time and that means no watching medical baby shows where everything goes wrong and hearing said horror stories about how painful it is.

I wish I could get her to read the Hypnobirthing book... I seriously wish I could. The concepts in there on pain and fear make so much sense. I could go off on a whole tangent here, but I won't lol.

Is just frusterating...

Decisions

The question of when to make our first appointment has come up a few times... and I really wasn't sure. So yesterday I sent an email to the birthing center to see what they normally do. Apparently some go in as early as 6 to 8 weeks and most between 1o and 12... I don't want to wait until 12, I just don't lol. But at 6 to 8 you're not likely to hear a heartbeat yet so I can see why a lot wait...

So we're here having to decide now when to make our appointment for. Was planning to call and ask a few questions to help decide between 8 and 10 weeks, but they're out lol. Makes sense as its about lunch time right now.

Any opinions?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Its official



Despite how it looks here, you really don't have to look hard at all to see that second line. Silly camera just doesn't want to pick it up well I suppose.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Hey

Not even gonna try to find a title today lol. Just not in the mood...

If you haven't heard yet, my husband wants me to take the second test tomorrow... Which puts me on pins & needles for one more day. But all the symptoms are still here (along w/ being late now), so... I shouldn't really worry.

If you haven't heard... Blah. That's about how I feel right now. Everytime a new post pops up on that note I end up crying agian (gotta love the hormones).

One thing, thats kinda funny (or not) about all this is that one of the things he's worried about is this pg. Months ago I was worried about maybe we shouldn't try right now and he was the one who said we needed to and that it would all be fine. He hasn't switched exactly, but now he's stressed about providing for another baby along w/ everything else... and I'm the one telling him that its gonna work out.

Of course almost noone knows about this (because we dont plan on announcing it anytime soon) and some of the comments have made us laugh because of that.

Eh...

I can't think of anything else to say... I've got too much to do anyways.

Btw... I put up comment mod because we were named at one point in one lol. I've got to keep that from happening agian lol. So don't be surprised if it takes awhile for comments to come up, they will!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Details

If you didn't see the plus sign & little chick on my chart... That's what I was showing off earlier today.

Now... it is only 10dpo and the line was faint. We can see it pretty well, but the camera just couldn't. I tried. Sorry. Here's the best shot I got though.


But anyways, because its so early I'm trying not to get too excited (failing miserably) and keeping in mind that testing early means we're more likely to know about a very early miscarriage if that happens (praying it doesn't of course) and because of that we shouldn't really celebrate till next week when we test again. The whole process of sighing w/ relief everytime the risk of it goes down lol.

I do have a good feeling though. I have from the beginning.

I couldn't wait lol

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

So Much...

I've been meaning to put up a post on here for days and now things to talk about are just piling up. Is what I get for not putting this on my other account (I didn't know I could hide it) where I could get to it so easily. Thinking about adding myself as another author to make up for that, but keep forgetting lol.

Anyways.. A bit of good news.

We've been getting hints from friends and family about adding to the family... some of them started really early lol. But none were immediate family... My FIL won't be upset we know, but he does hope we wait a little bit. My MIL, you already know lol. But... last sunday my husbands grandparents started hinting! Made me smile...

So far my temps look good. Shot up pretty high yesterday (like I started to think my chart would be triphasic) but today they're back to the level they were before. Not worried... Hubbies still finding little things to "prove" I am lol. Part of me wants to say I have a good feeling about it this time, but I've had that before... not last month of course lol, but before... So we'll see.

Apt complex said they were going to come spray today, had me really worried. Thankfully the guy never made it to my place. Unfortunately he did the mailboxes just before I headed over there. I got just close enough to smell the fumes and royally made me sick at my stomach. Not cool (esp if I am). The lady who is never nice to me saw me run away and thought she did something (tech I do want to run away when I see her, but not the cause this time lol) and called to make sure everything was ok and offered to let me know when it dries. I'm not chancing it though, hubby can go when he comes home.

I think there was something else, but... who knows. Oh well!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Sense of Humour

I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say that God has a sense of humour... In fact I've said it before myself... Multiple times. And the past couple days have had me thinking that all over again.

First off, I'm not going to get into the craziness that was yesterday... Its on the public/family/whatever blog. But I suppose I'm mentioning it because it does play into where my mind is right now.

But seriously.

Remember back... oh about a month ago? I was talking about what all we were going to do to improve our chances of conceiving this month... I wasn't kidding. I wasn't. This past cycle I've prayed, I've charted, I've stuck my ass in the air afterwards (oh have I not mentioned there might be some tmi in this post?), laid still, used my cup if I had to get up, and even bought cough syrup.

Just in case someone's picking this up late in the game... Cough syrup with Guaifenesin alone (aka original Robitussin or Musinex) increases fertile mucus and can help you get pregnant. Did I really need it? Eh... But doesn't hurt right?

So I start showing fertile signs and start taking the cough syrup... Right away I realize that the cold I had several months back had some lingering effects: I was still congested and just wasn't paying attention. Not good, but its finally going away... Suddenly I'm very glad I decided to go this route.

A week later, with me taking less than recommended for my intentions, I'm still showing fertile signs (at least in that area, looking at the chart other ones pointed to no) and my cough syrup is running out. So much for my plans right?

Beyond that one of my temps dropped extremely low, so my chart looks absolutely off the wall crazy.


And... because I was showing fertile for so long we ended up wearing ourselves out having sex every day! After almost a week of every day (or more) we had no energy, and couldn't even think about it. Unfortunately... I still hadn't ovulated.

Thankfully we got past that just in time lol... and my chart has a happy "best chance" at conception by that last day on the fertility planner part of the program. So we have a shot... I'm hoping...

But I had a little scare w/ that too. On day 2 of my luteal phase my temp dropped (called a fall back temp and means nothing) and scared the living daylights out of me... Plus it moved my info over to where it said "good" instead of "best" which in the end means nothing, but not what I wanted to see...

Yesterday (after the required amount of days to confirm a fall back temp, which I didn't know about yet) I got on... looked up fall back's, was very relieved & got on my chart only to find it told me on the advisory lol. From there I looked at the planner only to find my projected guess date if I did conceive...

On my birthday

So moral of my story here.. Not only does He have a sense of humour... but you have to have one when trying to conceive too lol.