Not Again...

You know, I feel bad that I sit here and talk to my mom on the phone.. hearing her cry.. and have no sympathy. That's horrible right?

But seriously... This time its that she didn't get a position because she's straight.

I've heard it too many times... Ok the straight thing is new... but usually its because she's white (errr... claims to be white), because she's a woman, because she doesn't have money, etc...

So I sat here and listened to her say "He made me feel like I don't deserve it because I like men" and I wanted to do nothing more than bang my head against a wall.

The sad thing, or one of, is that peope are discriminated against... and maybe she has been at some point, but I can't take it seriously when she brings it up.. for the 3405830423482342803th time... this month.

More Confusion

Seriously where is all this weight coming from? I gained 2 lbs in the last week! I'm not worried about it in the fact of I know its just 2 pounds and I can use it... but in a week? I can't even blame it on milk because I weighed after the baby finished nursing and I was dry...

Reunions

So today was supposed to be my 10 year HS reunion... that obviously I couldn't go to. What's funny is that not too long ago I would have cussed a blue streak if someone asked if I was going. But no... I actually wanted to go. There was really no way though, 5 hours away, husband working, family reunion next week... and to top it off it was rediculously expensive to register for it. Through in gas & a motel room... Ikes...

So family reunion next week. Looking forward to it all year. I've only missed it once... because I was out of the country and couldn't make it back in time. Husband asked off over a month in advance, did everything he needed too... and they said no. So now he's trying to switch days off w/ someone and hoping and praying someone will. So far 3 or 4 people have said no for one reason or another. He hasn't said if he's asked his mother yet... (yes she works there) I'm not sure if its because he just hasn't or he has and doesn't want to tell me her responce...

Part of me is thinking we really don't need to spend the money... but at the same time I never see my family. Most of them I won't see again until next July. Even my mother... I have no clue when she can make it down here. So its going to be awhile... I'm supposed to be helping out w/ the thing, have promised people I'd be there because we thought we were. So frusterating...

Confusing Much?

I meant to write this days ago lol.

So I'm now getting teased that I'm going to be one of those women on that show that didn't know they were pregnant. No I'm not. But things are just weird enough that my husband convinced me to take a test last week on day 14 of my cycle!

Backing up... I took a test last cycle, just before my period. Negative. Then I started. Was a bit lighter than normal, but definately there. On top of that, my temp dropped around that time and has remained low just like it should before ovulation. And... that random out of nowhere test was neg again!

So why did we test? Because he noticed that my stomach is hard like it was before, and I've gained weight. Seriously gained weight. 10 lbs out of nowhere. No complaints... I need those 10 lbs. They put me at my ideal weight... but still. Out of nowhere. Throw in the fact that despite our daughter nursing a little less, I'm making more milk (is not engorgment either) and his suggesting I test didn't sound too crazy at the time. But yeah, it said no.

Since then my temp dropped even lower... Thankfully it was normal today (mid 97's), but yesterday it was 96.91 and the day before it was 95.something. Just weird.

Oh well... We're still trying lol... So there should be another test in a little over 2 weeks. So at the very latest I'll post again then lol.

Justifications

I'm not even kidding when I say that lately I feel like I have to justify everything we do. A certain family member (who shall remain nameless despite the fact that you all know who it is I'm sure) went off on us once agian. This time because we bought the phones. Apparently we don't need cell phones. You've got to be freaking kidding me! I knew said person had issues when we got them... Is why I had the post (or at least I think I did, I meant to anyway) about how we got them as cheaply as we did... which was completely true. Did it set us back a little? Well yes... If his phone hadn't broke and mine hadn't been stolen then we wouldn't have paid anything... But it happened, we picked something smart within our budget and life went on. We're ok... Besides, things being tight right now isn't really due to that, but due to the wedding trip. Of course noones gonna go off on us going to that unless maybe the fact that "they" (one person really) wanted him to marry her instead of me. Sorry, still a bit of a sore point lol. Anyways, the trip did it... but oh well... We've tighted belts, things are great. Beyond the whole computer issue of course. But that would be that despite all else.

But yeah... I feel like I have to justify every little thing. So if you wonder why I bring up something being from a freaking gift card or only gotten on sale or yada yada.. That's why.

The whole thing is aggrivating. I love that I do little things to save us money... I really do enjoy doing it. And I like writing about these things... but I hate pointing out 50 million times that that's what I'm doing. I feel like my other blog is so focused on saving us money, when while I'll admit its a huge insentive (I hate not having spell check) its not what runs my life. And she's making me feel like it does.... and not only that, but like I'm failing at it.

I can just imagine what's going to happen when the next baby is in the picture. Look forward to fireworks on here, because I'm sure I'll have plenty to share. Btw, that was not an announcement lol.

Anyways, I'm going to get off... this wasn't even what I intended to write about... I can't remember what it was and this one just flowed out instead. Oh well. I prob needed to get that off my chest.

X y and z

Blah. Blah blah... blah blah blah.

Sorry just how I feel right now lol.

Anyways... We are finally catching up around here. Is a great feeling.

What's not a great feeling is the fact that now not only do we not have a computer but this thing is acting up more and more. Now its not letting me comment on blogs at all... because it won't let me put in my id to do so. I can't even click it over to anonymous. Ok, so its not on everyone's blogs. Some do it some don't... but if I'm not commenting that's why... until this thing decides I can do so again there's nothing that we can do about it. Aggrivating beyond belief it is.

Hubby = tons of over time this week = we will soon be back to where we were before the wedding = great news and huge relief.

Unfortunately 3/4ths of our bills were due this week lol. Gotta love it. Worse all our bill info is online so I'm still scrambling to figure out what's going on with it.

Please pray the desktop is fixed soon. Sounds like a silly request I know... but I am so nervous w/out having easy access to basically our whole lives.

Baby making in serious gear here. No really... If I get pg this month I would be due in April (around my bday lol) - later than I hoped... but my sister graduates in May. They live about 6 hours away... which I know could be worse... We could be on opposite ends of the state, or in diff states, or countries... but still. Not doable if heavily pg. So if I don't get that way this month we're going to be back to not trying for a few months and the stress over what if it happens anyway. I know its up to God either way, and if we end up having to miss it then we do... but she's my baby sister and I really want to be there. But yeah, we're down to the goofy, all but standing on my head, ttc stuff. No really I do have a line (at least now)... I'm not using egg whites, taking vit A (afraid of getting too much), buying fertility vitamins or safe lubes, standing on my head or standing under trees for birds to poo on my head. I am praying though and asking St. Gerard to pray for me as well... I pulled out my diva cup (or kept it out rather) and propping - sorry tmi there on both of those lol, and planning to get robitussin (plain) in a week or two... plus going back on my taking B6 starting today. Trying to add healthy fertility foods to diet as well. If its meant to happen it will, but I'm gonna try & help it along lol.

Yes I am laughing at myself over that last bit...

Is anyone else worried about the whole possible tax on energy? Seriously that will eat us... Part of me is sticking my head in the sand and not reading the news (easy to do for me right now lol) and part is scrambling to know and figure out what we'll do if it goes through.

A friend gave us a sling the other day... a Maya wrap I think (need to go look). Is one of the ones I was interested in at first but out of price range... She also gave us some wool diaper covers... one is so tiny! Cute...

Really thankful for that, but brings to mind some of the slings I have. 2 were given by a friend, really appreciated since my hotslings didn't fit right. Unfortunately they didn't either. Another friend got pg last year and showed interest so I said I'd send her one... but she never got back to me w/ the address and... well... hasn't gotten back with me period. I know her baby was born because it was in the paper... and I get that they're busy w/ new baby... So wasn't too worried that she didn't take calls or return them for awhile. But the last time I called her hubby answered, acted distant and said he'd give her my message and I still haven't heard. On top of that he joined facebook awhile back (note we were friends too) and refused my friend request. I have no clue what's going on w/ all of that. The last time we talked we had a really nice conversation.... I just don't get it. Sad.

Blah...

I should prob go clean the bathroom or something lol.

Ouch! Just moved... Have I mentioned that I tripped on my yoga mat yesterday? Wrenched my back and ankle... hit my knee and hand. Hand doesn't hurt anymore... and neither does my ankle really. The other two don't feel so good. Not cool. Silly baby dragging the thing everywhere lol.