Yeah, No...

I won't say I'm 100% sure I'm not... but I'm spotting and cramping... so pretty safe assumption.

As bad as that is...e erything seems to be going wrong today too.

I had to finish cleaning up nuclear poo from last night (no I didn't lea e it... lol... but I left baking soda on the spot to soak up any effects from it). And I'm not exaggerating about the nuclear part... it was the colour of aged mustard (or beer mustard), one partially solid part and the rest pure goop that exploded from my naked daughter all o er the area hitting not just the carpet, but the cats scratching post and our front window.

My husband who has said he will take o er doing the dishes has not done so... but will get mad if I try to help with them. So you can imagine what my kitchen looks like...

Baby tried to help clean said kitchen.. dumped baking soda all o er the floor and then dumped the cats water dish out on top of it.

She also peed on the floor in her room... I should be used to that, but today it made me want to cry.

And the part that's getting me the worst... she broke part of the computer again earlier... as you can probably tell, I'm missing a letter. I'd tell you which one, but I can't! But if you're singing the alphabet song it comes between u and w.

As bad as that is on its own...

I did not handle it well. I yelled... put her in time out but by the time it was time to get her out I had completely lost my cool trying to fix the thing... She was screaming, I was just out of it... Not about to go get her like that. So she screams e en more... leading to me going and yelling at her again. Not cool... at all.

I finally calmed down, got her out... ga e her some milk and made dinner... and other than the peeing incident, she did really well after that. But I still feel awful about it. I know she didn't mean to break the comp... She's just a baby... and I feel like a horrible mother right now.

And of course in the middle of that is when the cramps really kicked in and I realized I was spotting..

Apologies

Ok... Should have posted this a couple days ago...

I'm officially not pregnant. Much crying to be had... but I'm doing better. My husband immediately commented on how we'll have fun trying this next month lol. And honestly, after talking to the loan people today... I'm feeling a lot better about that.

Apparently... according to our reasonable and affordable chart on the paperwork they sent... our payment each month is going to be a whopping $5. No kidding. I'm sure most months we're going be sending more than that... but still. Granted that's not counting the one still w/ Sallie Mae, but we were paying that before (which reminds me... time to head over and pay that). So we're not as bad off as we were thinking we'd be. Now he just needs to fill out the paperwork to get our tax money back and life will be completely back to normal!

Ironies...

I don't have much time.. I have to get ready for the hafli tonight. But just had to share...

I was looking for the camera (so I can take it with me lol) and couldn't remember where I put it last. I don't have a lot of time so first thing (person really) to pop into my mind is St. Anthony. So I quickly ask him to help me find the camera (pray for me that is)... and remember the candle I have for him. So I walk over to the candle and what did I find? The camera sitting right beside it!

Budget

In the past we've used the MS Money program to keep up with our budget. I absolutely loved it. Unfortunately it was a free trial and ended... I tried to keep up w/out it, but I knew I was failing miserably.

Skip forward to this week... We're finally able to afford to buy it. I had all sorts of problems trying to download it lol, but as of a few hours ago it's up and running. Yes I'm thrilled (seriously).

But I'm also shaking my head in disbelief... I knew we've eaten out more than we should lately. We had a celebration dinner, then took out my MIL for her bday... had a couple oops dinners where we were being lazy... Not all together of course, but still more often than we should. Plus my husband's been getting food at school and work (although he's already stopped at work.. He's taking lunches now). But even knowing all that... Seeing the pie chart show that we've spent more eating out than we have on groceries this month (or this last month) really got me. We need to stop that... Now.

More of Lifes Ups and Downs

I've mentioned lately that I was supposed to start babysitting on Monday... I don't remember if it was on here or the other blog, but still I'm pretty sure I mentioned it lol. I've really been looking forward to it. Partly because we really need the money right now, but also because I'z looking forward to having a baby around.

Well, I got a call from his mama today... Her mom is going to watch him for free until she goes back to work... She said maybe around March... I'm not mad or upset at all of course, I completely understand. I'd do the same thing if I was in her place. But I am a little disapointed.... We went out and bought a cartridge for the diaper genie yesterday (it's ok.. it'll still be good in March lol), I've been cleaning like crazy to be ready for him (granted I needed to do that anyway), and had plans for the money...

On that note... When I first talked to her about watching him (early Nov) I couldn't wait to tell my husband... We were making it but the extra money was going to be good right? And then he called and told me that he'd lost his job... So I was on pins and needles about when I was going to start even though I understood why she was waiting as long as possible before going back to work. Then he got this job at McDonalds right about the time we were starting to narrow down my start date. It's a job and doesn't pay badly but we still really need the extra money. He applied a week or two ago for another job that's much better, passed the test and had a great interview... but we won't find out for sure if he's got it until Monday. I really hope he does... we need it now.

Thankfully he was really good about it when she called earlier... Got this really positive attitude about seeing if we can advertize at the birthing center since we're willing to work w/ cloth diapers and all that.

Of course after being so sweet he just about ruined it by making a comment about me not playing on here too long when he left... after he's spent all morning playing WOW.

And on a completely different note... For some reason google and blogger are acting up on firefox. I have this account up on explorer and it's fine, but my other one keeps scrambling my words!