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On an entirely diff note... mostly because I want to get my mind of shit...
I know I posted about it (shortly) yesterday... but my husband got the conversion thing at work. So insurance, raise, paid vacation & money back on our internet here we come lol.
Is extremely good news... We were extremely happy about it... are extremely happy about it.
Now if only other stuff would go away... Like morning sickness, bad memories, MIL's, etc... LOL
Warning - you know who you are... You prob don't want to read this. Feel free to skip it. Please. I honestly will feel bad if you don't lol.
Not going into detail because I dont really think it needs to be said/gone over again... but I feel like crap right now because I tried to help out a friend. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut... But no I couldn't do that and now other people who want to think about stuff less than I do are being pulled back into that whole mess and I feel horrible about that. I feel like its my fault this time even though I didn't want to bring it up... and on top of it all I know we're gonna be made out as liars if we haven't been already.
So yeah... That's what I get for caring about what happens to my friends...
He got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D
Ok, so hubby went to visit his dad yesterday... Things have calmed down on that end. He's disappointed that we didn't wait, but knows he'll love the baby and hopes its a boy. All things we knew lol.
On top of that, we had a really good talk about finances and hubby's not as freaked out as he was acting for a bit. We are still planning to cut cable, but just to make things a little easier and I'm ok with that.
Now on to the frusterating part of this post....
Remember how I said the birthing center was going to be a fight? Its already started.... and my FIL is fighting dirty. He's not going off on the no dr part of it (which I know is a big sticking point with him) or anything like that... He's going off on the financial part of it.
One of the big reasons I got my husband to go along with the idea is because it costs so much less.... Like w/out insurance we'd be paying less than we paid the hospital (not counting prenatal visits) after insurance picked up the bulk of it. So what does my FIL say? That its a luxury to give birth there and that we won't be able to miss payments like we could w/ a dr and hospital. And of course... Since it came from his dad... My husband agrees!
Thankfully he's not trying to change my mind, at least not yet... Apparently he was just as bothered by what happened in the hospital as I was and has started to understand why I didn't want to go that route the first time, let alone this one... So he's sticking w/ the plan despite agreeing w/ his dad....
So that is good news... but I'm starting to realize just what a fight this is going to be. I'm so glad my family is on board.
I'm horrible. I know I should be cleaning up and instead I'm sitting here doing this.
Anyways...
We still have not told her. Its driving me nuts. As much as I don't want to hear whatever she has to say, I want it over with. I actually dreamed I told her last night... In the dream she asked about when I was gonna start my period (???) and how it should be soon... and I told her that I was pg. She just looked at me smugly not saying anything and then I passed out in the dream. Not the weirdest dream that night by far, but still... this one I at least know where it came from. One of my mom's being pregnant, storing baby stuff in a shed where it got bird poop on it, and going out on a trip w/ my dead best friend who was begging me to call her more... not so much.
Beyond that...
My husband has gone nuts. I'm blaming my FIL... Well, him plus crazy pg hormones, that you know fathers get too lol.
But seriously, before we started trying we sat down and talked about it. Worked everything out in our heads & figured it would be a good time. No we're not rich, but we knew it'd work out.... Then things got crazy tight & I second guessed our decision. He said no, that we'd still be ok. Since then I've gone over it all in my head a million times.. and yes it's tight but I know he was right, we will manage.
So my FIL reacts by saying "Damn it! You can't afford another kid." and all the sudden my hubby has taken it to heart. Now he's driving me crazy worrying about everything and trying to readjust our budget. In and of itself that's not a bad thing... We don't need cable. It makes sense to get rid of it... will loosen things up a bit. That's great. But he's making it sound life and death and its really stressing me out. And I don't need that right now.
Now I'm here second guessing ourselves yet again... I want to be happy about this baby (and I am) but this is putting a serious damper on it. I know part of it is just me being over emotional, but good grief...
Anyways, I need to clean if little miss will let me.
Trying not to stress out...
We told my FIL yesterday... who apparently already had an idea because my MIL guessed and made a phone call to him. We didn't expect him to be jumping over the moon about it, but wasn't expecting the "damn it" either.
On top of that he made this point of asking about when our "dr's appointment" is despite knowing that we're using a midwife and made it sound like we don't/won't know the due date until we see a dr???? (shaking head)
Anyways... most of the stress comes from us still not having officially told my MIL. We know we're gonna get reamed and as much as I know it means nothing... I'm still not looking forward to it.
On a good note though, it looks like my husband will be getting the raise and stuff (including benefits) that we've been waiting on... Seriously need prayers over it though because its' not 100% yet. Will be a huge relief when it is.
Did I mention we're telling everyone this weekend? Did I mention I'm stinking nervous?
Seriously... My MIL will not take this well... Last night my hubby, BIL & I were talking about it and hearing them voice their thoughts on what she's gonna say, which happen to mirror what I think she'll say.... Did not help things any.
So far the consensus is that she's going to tell us that we're selfish and irresponsible... and that we should have an abortion and go on birth control.
Now have I mentioned what a short temper I've had lately? LOL I already told my husband that if she gets too ugly about it, I'm walking out of there... but I'm still worried. Of course we knew this was gonna be an issue, so its not like its coming out of the blue either.
